Flirting with new ideas, how to take headshots for cheap, and romance recs!
Welcome to my March newsletter, babes!
Greetings from yr friendly neighborhood novelist.
Monthly writing tips, pop culture recs, and secret peeks into the publishing process. Let’s go!
This month, I was on the prowl, shamelessly flirting with new book ideas. Second chance romance? How YOU doin’? My editor gave me the great advice to think about my obsessions, and use those as a jumping off point. It was such a fun and generative exercise, I gave it to my Writers’ Groups. You can try it, too: make a list of your obsessions—the things you spend more time than the average human thinking, talking, learning about. Maybe there’s a book idea in there…?
We’re SO CLOSE to revealing the cover for MOST WONDERFUL (out this Fall!) Because this is another queer ensemble romcom, with three POV characters (Liz, Birdie and Rafi, all half-siblings), we wanted to depict all three couples on the cover. We also wanted to show off our gorgeous Christmas-in-the-Catskills world, including Belvedere Inn, the central setting: a former inn lovingly renovated over the years by the siblings’ mom, famed Hollywood actress Babs Belvedere. Keep an eye out for MOST WONDERFUL’s gorgeous cover this month!
This month, we’ll also have our Marketing & Publicity kick-off call, to start planning how to best get this book into readers’ hearts/minds/book shelves. One big-picture thing I’m working on, for this book and in life in general, is lessoning the need for external validation. This is complicated for an author, as art needs an audience, and book sales matter: sadly, we do live in a capitalist society. I do want to be a #1 NYT-best-selling author. But I also want to cultivate a deep-seated internal satisfaction with my work, that can’t be swayed by strangers’ opinions, good or bad. It’s easier to do this around negative reviews—go where you’re celebrated/I’m not for everyone/shake it off. But it’s more complicated to do this around positive feedback. Of course, I want great reviews! I want to please my readers. But it’s risky to build my self-esteem on the opinions of others, as I can’t control those, and opinions can change. I’m learning that the only way to ride the wild ups and downs of the creative life is to have an unwavering internal self-belief and sense of peace, that doesn’t rise or fall too much, regardless of my success or setbacks. What are your thoughts on that? I’d be curious to know.
Other than that, this month I boogeyed at a Jon Batiste concert, saw an adults-only magic show at the House of Yes, helped my daughter enjoy her first Easter Egg hunt with my wife (pictured), and hosted the last Generation Women Writers’ Retreat of the season in the Hudson Valley (our next one’s in November). My friend Melanie Cantor also visited from the UK: her new book, The Fuck It List, is out this summer (pictured). I’m going to visit her in London next month: send me your tips!
This month, I finally updated my author headshots. As a full-time writer living in exciting-but-expensive NYC, I’m always watching my pennies. Here’s my advice on how to get photos of your face that you actually like, on the cheap.
Ask a friend for a favor. Professional photographers are wonderful but pricey and you likely have a pal who has a good eye (just check their Instagram for proof). They don’t need experience taking headshots or a proper camera: iPhones are more than enough. I asked my good friend, Phoebe Weekes, for help.
Plan your lewks. I have heard advice not to wear anything new in a headshot but whoops, I only wore new things! Because I was saving money on a photog, I spent $87 on renting 6 items from the clothing rental company Nuuly. Only two of the pieces made it into the final looks: a Christmassy red velvet blazer (worn over my father-in-law’s vintage Allman Brothers t-shirt) and a Clare V tee, worn under Phoebe’s sass+ bide sparkly cape. I also wore a pink-and-green Gorman dress I’d bought for the coming summer. I think three outfits is plenty.
Plan your inspo: As well as outfits, I sent also Pheebs some headshot inspo: other headshots I liked, to give her a sense of what I was going for, prior to arriving on the day. Oh, and I got a haircut and brow tint/wax the day before to look FRESH.
Schedule the shoot. Personally, I prefer indoor shoots because they’re an easier environment to control and posing in public is nightmarish. I asked Phoebe for 3 hours of her time, in her apartment (I feel like I’ve shot my own apartment to death!). Half an hour was spent getting ready (I did my own hair and make-up), then we spent about 45 minutes shooting each look. I brought a mini ring light that I use for virtual teaching—we only used it in the set-ups in front of her bookcase, one of which ended up being my main picture. If you don’t have a ring light, a desk lamp also works. Natural light also looks lovely, so definitely plan your shoot for daytime. Afternoon light tends to look nicest.
Pose, pose, pose. The key to quality is quantity! Phoebe shot hundreds of pictures of me smiling on her couch, in front of her bookshelf, on her stairs. I smiled with my eyes, with my mouth, with my hand near my face, in my hair ETC. Smiling for hours will make you thankful you’re not an actor! I could never.
Get a friend to cull. Can you think of anything worse than sorting through hundreds of awkward photos to find the five snaps you like? Me neither: I asked my wife to do the first cull for me. She cut everything down to about 25, and it only took a month of nagging!
Make your final selects. For writers, your photos should reflect your author brand: basically, who you are, as a writer. For me, I was looking for something that conveyed my personality as a queer romcom author: something upbeat/friendly (not overly serious/unsmiling), accessible (not too cool for school), and creative (something colorful, queer, even elevated). It’s nice to have a little range in your final pix, to suit different purposes.
(Optional) Finish with digital Botox: I don’t have any IRL facework but I am NOT opposed to a lil’ post-production! Forever 35 please! Lucky for me, Phoebe has the skillset to smooth and brighten headshots, but you may need another friend to do this, or this is something I would pay for: it shouldn’t be anything close to hiring a photographer, but for me and my ego, totally worth it.
Go forth and get pictures of yourself that you love!
Do you want to tell stories onstage or publish your personal essays? Are you looking for wri advice, feedback on your work, accountability, and community?
My all-new Storyteller Groups are for you! Offered at both the Beginner and Advanced level, these groups are empowering and generative virtual monthly meet-ups for writers of all ages and backgrounds. In each 2-hour meet-up, writers will workshop 1,200 word (or less) stories or essays, and get feedback from both myself and fellow members. Plus, we’ll have industry Q&As, craft lectures, and more.
Membership is offered on a quarterly basis. Writers also get access to a private Slack channel where they can chat online in between classes. Applications close 5/7/24, 5pmET. Find out more.
I’m reading: Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld
I really enjoyed Curtis Sittenfeld’s first contribution to the genre. Sally Milz is a writer on an SNL-style late night sketch show when she meets Noah Brewster, a gorgeous and kind pop star. The first half of the book takes place over one week on the show, then it skips forward a year or so to when Sally and Noah reconnect during the pandemic. It’s interesting to see how the pandemic is being evoked in literature, now that we’re far enough away from it to reflect. Curtis really did the research here; the sketch show and its internal politics feels 100% accurate, and while slow burn isn’t my fave trope, Sally and Noah build a satisfying, realistic, and swoony romance. I recommend the audiobook.
I’m watching: Young Royals on Netflix (season 3)
The final season of my favorite Swedish teen romance did not disappoint! I’ve been obsessed with this show from the pilot, and was happy with the way they wrapped everything up (although honestly could’ve kept watching this show for 10 more seasons). Set at an elite boarding school called Hillerska, the story follows Prince Wilhelm of Sweden and his romance with dreamy fellow student, Simon. It’s literally everything I want in a gay royals romance!
I’m performing at: Generation Women
I am so SO grateful that my multi-generational storytelling show, Generation Women, is absolutely crushing it. Our last two shows sold-out iconic venue Joe’s Pub well in advance, and our next show, on Tuesday April 30th, is on track to do the same. Grab a live show or livestream ticket to catch us telling fresh, feel-good stories on the theme Uh-Oh: Stories About Mistakes.
That’s it for now! If you’ve read this far, I’d be grateful if you click the like button below. HMU in the comments. I reply to every message and I’d love to hear from you.
I'm so happy I discovered your substack! I read Island Time last year and learned so much from it. Looking forward to learning more from you here!
The House of Yes is a must see venue. So cool, multitalented performers and so funny you'll pee your pants.